absence [sometimes] makes the heart grow fonder

Long distance relationships are hard.

Period.

They're hard and complicated and confusing.

And it sucks.

Worst part is is that they make this girl mean. I get so overwhelmed with the annoyances of cell phone reception, constant instant message conversations, just the overall absence. And instead of becoming kinder and more sentimental, I hear myself becoming bitter, cynical, and down right mean.

We're only apart during the summer, and I do realize that we see each other often during those four months. But no matter how close together our visits and trips are, those days during the week wear on me and on our relationship. I hate it.

It becomes so confusing and makes me second guess myself. August can't come soon enough. I might lose it if we have another pointless disagreement over something that I created due to my frustration.

It's stupid. I'm sorry.

a picture's worth a thousand words

I realize its been forever since I have written. It's not that I have forgotten about my blog or that I don't want to write. I do want to write. I've been opening a draft off and on these past few weeks. But nothing really came to me. And I didn't want to start the downward spiral of blogging pointless, nonsensical occurrences from my day to day.

I saw My Sister's Keeper on July 6th with Margie and Kayla Quarterman, Alyson, Brittany, and Karisa Horrall, and my Momma. I haven't read the book, but I did enjoy the movie. It got me thinking about all kinds of things.

During the movie the daughter with leukemia looks through a scrapbook of sorts that she's been putting together for awhile it appears. It reminded me of similar items in movies like The Notebook, Up!, etc., where a character is sick or dying or knows their time on earth will be short. These people in these situations always feel the need to make books full of memories with pictures, quotes, stories of times spent with their family and friends. The have this great desire to do so because they know their end is coming.

But what about the rest of us? Those of us who aren't sick, who just go about our days like they're no big deal. I find myself realizing that I'm not as grateful for each day I have as I should be. I'm healthy and I'm not in need of anything and yet I don't take the time to fully enjoy these days I have. It seems as though people who aren't healthy or are in pain are better as enjoying and appreciating their days than I am.

Why don't I feel this desire to remember and document all the little things that my life brings to me? Why don't I seem to have this deep appreciation of life and the things God has given me?

And perhaps the biggest why would be why have my last two posts been basically about the same thing? Perhaps I rushed it. Forced a blog post too soon.